REACH

Gareth · Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 6804 Location: Manchester

Something that interests me - on Facebook many of us have hundreds of 'friends'... I've got 367 it seems! Anyway, when you look at it truthfully, a lot of those are probably quite superficial - there's no way you can have that many 'real' friends I don't think!

So how many real/close friends do you have? By that I mean people you love to hang out with, share personal stuff with etc. I guess you'll be able to work out the criteria for that!!

Would be interesting to know what people's Facebook friends to close friends ratio is as well, though you don't have to give that!!

And if you aren't on Facebook, you can still answer the question... just ignore the last option!
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Gareth · Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 6804 Location: Manchester

By the way - not trying to be negative with the low numbers in the options... it's just I'm sure I read something where it said most people have up to about 15 close friends, so that's why those numbers were chosen!

I'm kind of interested to know what a 'normal' amount might be - especially with people in a 'family-structure' of a church.
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Terry Mc · Joined: 24 Sep 2005 Posts: 1676 Location: Failsworth

Real friends: People who I could turn to and share my crap with and trust them to care for me properly - definitely only one or two.

However, that said I have one friend who I have always cosidered to be one of my best friends who I have probably only spent time with on about 6 occassions. We live 200+ miles apart but maintain the friendship via sites like facebook. I actually haven't seen him in 5 years!

There are also another couple of friends that only exist in cyberspace. One of which I do class as a friend but have only met once in real life.

The others: as my recent facebook status said "I used to have an imaginary friend. Now I have facebook I have lots of them"
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Gareth · Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 6804 Location: Manchester

So far then, it seems the majority would say they have less than 10 'main' friends which kind of sounds normal to me I suppose.

Also, wondering if people find that these close friends change much as time goes on, or do you reckon that ideally really close friends should be for life (or as long as you can manage!)?

I was thinking the other day how a few years ago, I'd have said that 3 of my friends that I had in Manchester were probably my closest friends ever, and knew the most about me, and I knew quite a bit about them as well... but now those friendships have totally gone and I don't even speak to any of them anymore.

I've probably got one friend who I see very occasionally who will ask me the difficult questions, but I wouldn't say that I'm close enough to them to answer them with 100% honesty, and certainly no-one closer to home like that, and I guess that saddens me a bit the way things have turned out.

Experience has taught me that friendships don't last, so I think I'm reluctant to invest in what could become what you'd class as a really close friendship.
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laughingmonsta · Joined: 15 Jan 2004 Posts: 3814

I think if you talk about friends for life that number of about ten would prob dwindle on average to about 2 or 3.

Friends come and go just ike the seasons sad but true - life just gets in the way!
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alice · Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 1635 Location: Manchester

i don't really think its that sad. i have friends who i have been extremely close to for a few years and then when things move on we both become different people and maybe don't share that much in common anymore.

i'll always think of these people with love and affection but some of them i haven't seen for years. we were friends before and we're not really now. if doesn't mean i rejected them or they rejected me.

the way i see it is if you think of how much you have to invest in a close friendship you could not possibly form new ones if you held on to all your best friends from infant school onwards you could only have lots of shallow friendships. abi's the only person i've been friends with my whole life and i hope i'll know some of the people i am good friends with now for a very long time but if i don't then i'll value the time i knew them and the input we had in each others lives

that was a bit philisophical
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Gareth · Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 6804 Location: Manchester

abi · Joined: 23 Mar 2005 Posts: 1807 Location: glasgow

i'm impressed most people have 6-10 close friends! are they including family? can we include family? if that's the case i can change my vote.